It's Cyclist! Not Biker!

Expanding Horizons Continue ( Or, It's Cyclist and Biker ),

2008-06-13T06:24:00.010-05:00

Last summer, I discovered the joy of Motor Biking. I rented a little 49cc motor scooter and just fell in love with the feeling of a motor propelling me on two wheels. After so many years and miles, I was letting something else do the work. Within a week, I purchased one of those cheap little Chinese mainland knock-off scooters and realized right away I had been impulsive again as the scooter turned out to be faulty and frail. My neighbor had also just purchased a 49cc scooter, but had done his homework and bought a Honda Metropolitan. Perfect for him as all he does with it is commute to his job as a school principal and back. I believed I needed the same scooter to replace my inferior Popcycle and even tried to do a car deal with one as we thought about purchasing a mini-van to replace our Blazer. Oh, I thought this Honda scooter would end my woes about my purchase of the Popcycle.
November came, and I again made an impulse buy of one of these little Honda scooters much to the chagrin of my wife, but, I assured her, this will fix it, do not you see? Home came the Honda and I managed to give away the crappy Popcycle for $200 to a couple who had another G49 and knew that parts, service and luck were simply not available for these things. They saw the writing on the wall before I did as I really thought a certain businessman would make good on his products of which he did not and escaped town leaving dozens of people with these machines in which no future is in the cards for any of them.
Oh, but now I had my coveted Metro. My bicycling started taking a back seat to the scooter and was touched very little. I had some guilt pangs, but riding the scooter was so enjoyable, I thought it would be OK eventually and things would work out. Little did I know at the start that MY CYCLING was not going to give up, ever.
However, I still was not satisfied with the scooter experience, as the Metro was prone to severe slow downs at the slightest hill or headwind. I tried to accept it as I knew I was stuck with it. I had coveted it so much and really, it wasn' that bad. But each time it bogged down, I seethed.

So early April, I go into Vespa St.Louis to look at armored jackets. BOOM, there it was, a Piaggio BV250, a 250cc, mid size motor scooter. I have to say that my immediate thoughts were to just buy the damn thing on my own and I tried to figure out how I could finance it with a trade in without Rachel knowing until I brought it home. The guys at the dealership were not very helpful at explaining their particular financing system and I had no immediate luck with their recommendations. I have since gotten to know these two guys pretty well as I am now a customer of Vespa St. Louis as well as socially. A gnawing realization told me to just tell Rachel I want the bike and let the chips fall where they may. That night, I just told her. She was at first upset that I would even consider such a thing but then within an hour, she told me that I should just get what I want this time. We of course discussed finances and we had just learned that our daughter Margaret's tuition for school was now going from $4,500 to $0, as her school has become a charter school, so I reasoned that there was the money. Add to that the $1,200 or so I would get for the Metro and it brought the price down on the new Piaggio, a much more versatile motor scooter. She seemed to me to agree and I came away from that conversation planning to go buy it the next day. Which I did, but did not actually tell her I did until the day I was to pick it up.

What followed is not exactly what happened to this guy in the AutoTrader ad, but very similar, as our conversation about the scooter was far from over. I failed to realize that my purchase of this scooter was yet again an impulse buy and since I feared her rejection of it, I snuck it in anyway. But, I have a good scooter, even though I was like a four year old in my rush to get it.

I have put nearly 2,400 miles on it since April 7th. It is so much more powerful and versatile than my last one. I can literally go out of town on this thing and it is what I was looking for since my first test ride last summer. But, and this is really the jist of this post, my bicycling was becoming seriously threatened now as I wanted to be on it all of the time. I proceeded to take four weeks off, making excuses to myself about weather, cold etc., bullshit really when you look at my cycling history and the year-round commuting I have done since the early 1980's.So much time began to pass that I knew getting back on my bike would be painful and frustrating, but I still stayed off. I noticed every other cyclist and thought about what I was in the process of giving up and the discomfort increased. I always wished I were on my bicycle when I was scootering, but I never wished to be on my scooter while cycling. I still stayed off the cycle and feeling worse about it.

On one of our marriage counseling sessions, Rachel mentioned my dilemna and Jane started talking about how I did not really know where to put my scooter in my life and that little Mickey was just confused. Well, that did it. I proceeded to just rip them both as not understanding what it is to have had a passion for an excercize routine with my bicycle for so long and for them to back off from that line. Jane, being the consumate professional that she is, helped me to see the value of the pain and to find a way to do both. I have some guilt attached to this scooter purchase and I have to deal with that and I am. I am making room for it as I feel I can own it now and I HAVE GOTTEN BACK ON MY BICYCLE WITH A NEW APPRECIATION AND UNDERSTANDING. So, I may change the name of my blog to It's Cyclist and Biker !!

I Am Still Here

2007-12-27T11:00:00.000-06:00

I am still here and want to get back into my blog maintenance. It may be a journaling substitute or at least an oppurtunity to get stuff out of my crazy brain and out to the universe.

Will post again very soon, I hope ,and I may change the name of this blog or simply start a new one. It is about making room in my life for good habits to go into fruition and maintaining this program of action. I cannot live on past work and past progress.

Nice to still be here.

Just simply a new post !!

2007-03-27T10:56:00.000-05:00

Long time , no post. Much has happened since my last post and I have considered just deleting this thing but something tells me to just hold on awhile. My buddy HDT has really gotten into the Youtube thing and doesn't know when he will post again.
I went back to work last November to a part-time job that I really did not know that I wanted. My boss had asked me to come and work there more than once and while sitting in a coffee shop near my house last fall I got another call from her. I went to hear her out that day and ended up agreeing to start work the following week. I only work 15 hours a week but it is the most important job that I have ever had. I work as office manager for a not-for profit kids camp located in south central Missouri. My office is only 2 minutes from my daughters school and I only work the hours they are in school.
I really have enjoyed being away from that truck gig but something was missing that I really could not fully figure out until I started again to contribute financially to my family and my lifestyle, which I admit I did not alter much after quitting last May. Even though we were OK without a paycheck from me, I knew by my discomfort level that I needed to find a paying gig before too long. What I did not know was the extent that I would feel joy and well being when I did go back to work.

Luxury Problems

2006-09-28T15:06:00.000-05:00

Have not posted in more than 2 weeks so I just wanted to put something in to remind me why I do this.Often I will start a post only to quit as I don't think that I have anything to say.The key is time and most of my free time comes after my kids are in bed and then I have time to spend with my wife Rachel.And then there's that thing called sleep that we need.My kids are always up by 6:42 a.m.,even if I put them to bed at 10p.m. When they are up,everyone is up.
SO all of my problems are of the luxury nature.All of them,no exceptions. The guys in the picture above knew problems to an extent that I hope I never have to experience.I just finished the audio version of the book 'Flags of Our Fathers' which is the detailed account of the World War II battle for Iwo Jima.This photo was for a long time the most copied photo of all time and may still be.Why Am I posting this about this topic? It simply reminds me that I did not have to experience the horrors of combat at the age of 20.I have to live in a world where human beings still find war necessary even after what men like these sacrificed for.Maybe todays war will lead to some good later.I doubt it this time.I think that we have gone too far.Time will tell,won't it?

Closeted Cigar Smokers

2006-09-10T22:50:00.000-05:00

I had my first paid gig as a League Of American Bicyclists Cycling Instructor today.After I quit my truck gig back in May,I started the process of becoming an LCI(League Cycling Instructor).In the spirit of remaining teachable,I took a course in bicycle handling and safety and then did a teaching seminar in Chicago in August,which I passed.I have learned alot on the 25 years I have been an adult cyclist.Much of it by near fatal trial and error type stuff.But I have learned alot in my process of becoming an instructor.I have learned that just because I have much experience with on road,in traffic riding I need to learn how to teach before I can teach.So here I am,getting paid to teach what my passion is.But you see,I have already been paid in many hours and days of self propelled transportation,very good excercise and lots of therapy.I am now just double dipping.My biggest concern now is that I do not want to get so busy with this that I am not there for my daughters and my wife,who is the primary bread winner for our family.Primary?Hell,she's the only one now!!!
Anyway,today after the session was over,I was having lunch with my wife and another student in the class,a retired mental health professional(yes.a shrink.).Also there was the main instructor whom I was assisting.The subject of cigar smoking came up and both the instructor and the shrink started ripping cigar smokers and calling them 'turd burners' and other such things.I finally chimed in by saying"You never know who might be a closeted cigar smoker" and they laughed and the subject was dropped.
So,my cherished readers,I want to take this oppurtunity to come out of the smoking closet and admit that I am a Turd Burner.Yes,me,the newly minted Cycling Instructor.The excercize loving,Century riding mostly healthy guy.I like to smoke cigars.
Now you may want to know how I can smoke cigars and ride my bicycle.It is very simple.I just don't do them at the same time.

Cycling! Not Biking!!

2006-09-04T22:58:00.000-05:00

Just a post to link you to a photo gallery of mine.I want to share this experience as I have been blessed with great health and great friends.These are a few such people.Enjoy!!
http://mrmcsmitty.smugmug.com/gallery/1854342

Taking The High Road Of Love

2006-09-03T20:13:00.000-05:00

Well today I was shown once again how love can triumph over resentment and selfishness and self -pity.A very good friend of mine who just happens to be a gifted and successful

musician,among other things,is in town for a visit with his family and friends.He moved away several years ago to Nashville,Tenn.to further his career.At that time,he was married to my sister-in law and I got to see him on a regular basis.Well,they became divorced and it has not been the same since.

To make a long story shorter,lets just say that I have let myself become resentful that things aren't the same and in my self pity of not being able to see him as often as I want,I decided that I would pout during his visit and really let him suffer that I was just not going to be as availabe as a friend like I used to be.I was going to show him.In fact,I thought of all kinds of things that I was going to say to him or maybe just be a no-show.That would really show him.

Forget it.None of that happened.I was guided into taking the actions of real love by BEING a friend and LOVING someone for who they are and not just for what I want out of the deal.I showed up with my wife and daughters and when I saw him,all of the negative melted away.You see,I SHOWED UP!!! I was able to be rid of expectations and because I took a different road than the one originally planned,I was able to show up and receive the gift of love and friendship and renewal.Try it.It is called the High Road for many reasons.One of which is because it is my Higher Powers road.I choose to call that road GOD.

Anyway,check out my friends website; http://unclejimrocks.com/

I,m back,at least for now.

2006-08-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

Hi All!
As you well know,keeping up with your blog is about momentum more than content.I could really have a long daily post as each day there is something to talk about and share.My friend HDT reminded me of that the other day when I thought I was just telling him about my day.
So I am almost 4 months into my new gig as a stay at home dad and it has taught me more than I would have guessed.My biggest revelation is that I have only scratched the surface of becoming a bona-fide adult.At age 47,I am really still a beginner.Each day my kids remind me that I am still selfish and childish.Some may say that my youngest( 2 3/4) is just into "The Terrible Twos"but I have come to believe that those people who believe that that is a "phase" that the kid is going through are mistaken.Kids are kids.How am I handling the child at this age?
Anyway,I am learning alot about alot.When I was working,I could fake alot.It was just another escape.Now I have a job that really challenges me and I can use these new skills in all areas of my life.I hope that I will run with this and when I get my next $paid$ job,I will do something that I want to do and that I can grow with.God help me be willing!!

HELP ME !!!!

2006-05-26T04:51:00.000-05:00

I am assuming all the hate mail is for fun and that you have my best interests in mind. Is there a therapy for Impotent Blogging Syndrome ( I.B.S.) ? Possibly a 12-step program? Obviously I am in denial again.Please do an intervention on me for Gods sake I need help.
I was going to name this post "Back The Hell Off!", but decided otherwise.I realized as I began my post that people are genuinely concerned for my Blogging sanity,so I have decided to get some help.I will keep you posted with my progress.
This photo will show just how serious my condition is and is a prime example of the behavior that I engage in that prevents me from living in bloggeality.PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

One Week Into Unemployment.

2006-05-12T14:53:00.000-05:00

I really should title this post " Re-employment " as my dad duties have increased. I am glad that it is tough sometimes because I can no longer hide from my deficiencies as an adult.Like this morning,I was getting impatient when I could not get a pair of sox on my 5 year old.There it was,slapping me in the face.Also,I will need to dig deep to find my creative side as the summer is coming and I can't just keep throwing them in the car running errands or throwing them in front of the TV.I want to be able to get down with them and really explore,really develope that side of me that took over when boredom set in when I was little.As an adult I have built some pretty inadequate coping mechanisms into my daily life to kill time.I do not want to transfer these to them.Oh,by the way,my youngest is napping and the neighbor is watching my oldest.Maybe I still do have a creative side!!!
As you can see,much work ahead for me.Pray for my kids,will ya??!!

First Day Off The Job!

2006-05-08T13:25:00.000-05:00

Hi All, I am now officially unemployed.I can now start spending my time,at least most of it, doing the things that I have passion for. This is more than my little mind ever could conceive before as I have taken jobs that others thought I should take,were given to me or just out of desperation.I am responsible for my lack of satisfaction up to this point.And to the same degree,I am responsible where I go from here.But today,I have CHOICES. I have always had these choices.I am sure that people told me 25 years ago that I should figure out what I liked to do and pursue that.I really did not understand what they meant because I did not believe I was worthy of happiness in the area of work as I did not finish college and still to this day have no desire to get the degrees.It Does not matter.My faith lies outside of human and societal control alone.You see,I have a faith in myself and a level of self esteem that rises far above that today.This is because I have been given the gift of cooperation and relationship.I see it as a gift anyway.I think that it has always been there but my choices never embraced that.Left to my own puniness,I have underachieved.Times are changing.

A Leap Of Faith.

2006-04-28T04:46:00.000-05:00

I have not posted in awhile.The Producer left a comment that made me realize that I had never given my blog title a proper explanation.I started to do so but I ran out of time and also realized I was not thinking very clearly.Or my argument is not sound enough.Something.
So.I want some feedback.What do you faithful millions of readers of my blog have to say of bikers and cyclists? I have my opinion but have realized that it is only based on bias and lack of thorough experience in the motorcyle world.I am an avid cyclist but I do not get the loud motorcyle thing.Help me to understand -WHY????
Oh,the leap of faith part.I quit my job.I put my 2 week notice in this past Monday and I will be leaving a company I have been with for 21 years.I will be at home more to help raise my kids and I am going to re-evaluate my vocation possibilities.In a way,I am retiring as I do not know what my next full time gig will be.I do know that I could keep my safe and secure job that i have now.I could do it another 18 years or so,but I have an oppurtunity to take a leap of faith into the unknown.And I am.I would rather be 65 and know that I at least tried than to be 65 and be throwing another regret of something that I did not do on that huge pile of things I did not do.That pile is founded on fear.I no longer want to contribute to that pile. And I do not have to.

More Money Than Time

2006-04-16T00:14:00.000-05:00

So,here is my new bike.I have three others but two of them are in need of work and parts.I ride enough to wear stuff out and I don't have the time I used to have to tear my bikes down,clean them,replace cables and bearings.Used to be I would turn on the TV and go to work on one.I could take my time because I had it to take.Things are much different today.W'hen I am home I try to be available to help out with my two girls as my wif e has them most of the time.She works for her family business which is quite lucrative for all concerned and she has more control and freedom with her time.I work a 5:30 am to 2 pm shift and I am home by3-4 depending on my mode of transport,so there is just enough time to eat,get the kids down and get to bed myself.I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!!! these are just the facts,mam.
So I got this cool new bike as my daily workhorse.Single speed(42x17),700 x 33 knobby tires,no shifters,derailers or wimpiness about this dude.I have to stand up and crank it alot more as a 42-17 isn't great for some hills,but I am getting some upper body work I was not getting with the other bikes.Now,my mountain bike is just for off road use(I was wearing it out as my commuter) and I donated my 17 year old Specialized Cirrus to an organization that donates bikes to the needy and sells them cheap to others.Bicycle works.I feel good about that.
Back to three bikes.All I need.Last but the most is my Bianchi Titanium Full Dura-Ace(10) Kyserium SL Wheels Carbon Fork 16 Pound Frickin Clunker for my long and hilly road rides.
Later Gators!!!

Finally Some Cycling Stuff.....

2006-04-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

I gave up bicycling completely when I got my first car at 16 and it was 4 years before I rode again.At 22 I started riding daily as it was good therapy for me after the end of a 3-plus year relationship.I did not realize it at the time that it was indeed therapy but I was rediscovering a love for something that went back to when I was 5.I taught myself how to ride a bike without training wheels by coasting down a short,hilled driveway in my neighborhood.Many crashes and scrapes but I will never forget when I first was able to coast down,make the turn and pedal until I was ready to stop.Still one of the biggest thrills of my life.Thank you Jill Reilly.Or Riley-It was 1964.It was her little bike I learned on.She was also my first crush.We took a few naps together and I loved smelling her hair.
In 1981,I began riding avidly.A new addiction to add to several others that I was developing.Let me just say that I still cycle alot for someone who does not compete and I have been free of most of the other addictions for a few years.I honestly do not think I would have gotten back into it as an adult if it hadn't been for the fabulous combination(for me) of Bongs And Bikes.I smoked way too much pot back then,but from that I have kept an activity that is more than just a hobby.It is a very large part of my life.I Am Cyclist-Watch Me Blog.

Two Of My Many Blessings.

2006-04-01T04:58:00.000-06:00

My first photo for my blog.No words needed.

Ok,Im here too!!

2006-03-25T21:20:00.000-06:00

I just erased my first entry but I will say this.I did not think I would be as excited as I am to be starting a blog.I have just realized I have needed to do something like this for a long time.My best friend(after my wife) has a blog and has linked me to another old friends blog.Until this hour I felt that blogging was selfish and a cry for attention.There.I said it.However,since I started writing I have had a change of heart and soul not too far removed from what happened to me when at 40 I finally got married or at 42 when my first daughter was born.Hard to explain any further.I am going to be myself.No typing classes or grammar lessons.If you read my blog you are reading words from a genuine life.
I have a life.Loving wife.Two gorgeous,healthy young daughters ages 2 and almost 5.Nice home.Paid for cars.Exceptional health.A job that I truly like most of the time.Only one real hobby at this point-Bicycling.Many other blessings.And now I blog!!